Sunday, May 06, 2007

Product Endorsement: Extra Large Heating Pads

This is much more than a product review. I want to encourage all of you to go to someplace like Wal-Mart... oops, wait. I do not want to encourage shopping at Wal-Mart unless, like our family, the only other choice within a two hour drive is Lowe’s and Big Lots. We are shopping-deprived up in the rural Southern Appalachians... in exchange for ravishing natural beauty we have given up Malls. Go figure....

Anyway, I am what might be called a maturing male cat, entering middle age who still has kept many of his kittenish hallucinatory ways. The world mostly continues shimmering like a living Van Gogh painting for me. All dangling things move and must be pounced upon, gotten under control. But I am growing up/older. I notice I am now able to stroll past a rug with a fringe at the ends without attacking it most of the time. Even as recently as a few months ago, I admit that I spent hours beating up the bathroom rug, day and night, because the two-inch strings on the ends of the rug would not stop moving. When company comes over and wants to use the bathroom they can rest assured that they are safe because the rug is bound into a heap in the middle of the floor with no wiggling fringes peeking out to get them. Just one of my several household tasks, piling all the loose rugs up into a ball. Homeland Security, I call it.

I am in love with strings, ribbons, long waving cords, thick or thin, whether on rugs, the furniture or some of the Typist-Writer’s drawstring pants. Leaping up for these was stopped abruptly when she whacked me on the nose and yelped because my fingernails got stuck in the fabric and the legs under it. Doesn't she know I am trying to protect her from writhing ribbons?

All my mice, of many colors and material types come with tails. They drive me crazy! And they are the first body parts to go as I toss and catch them relentlessly day and night. Wiggling mice tails flying through the air to seduce me like nothing else. I admit, I am addicted to strings and anything that looks like them. I have no control over them in my life. My Higher Power, the One who types this blog for me, has no control over me either. Is there a Strings Anonymous meeting? Personally, I feel that she actually enables me by buying and making more and more house mice. Her friends send wrapped gifts of mice for me. I probably ought to write a ‘Mice Review’ in the future, and one for ‘Organic Catnip’ too, ooooh, yum, my favorite, especially when poured, not sprinkled or shaken, onto a flat floor rug with fringes needing a beating. I get excited just thinking about it.

But back to the Extra large Auto-Shut Off Heating pad...

I discovered this remarkable cat appliance night before last when the Typist-Writer was lolling around on her bed with it on her recently laser-zapped kidney stone. At first I discovered how nice and warm she was and got on top. Then she seemed to be done, rolled over, and left this long, warm, light blue (one of my favorite colors) thing with a string, like a long white tail attached to it. How perfect can one toy be? A giant, warm mouse for me. I carefully pulled the string out away from her body. It seemed docile. After poking it for a while, it lay dead on the duvet. Then I curled up on the warm blue cover to sleep all night. With auto-shut off it is no danger to sensitive felines or humans who fall asleep with it on. The “extra-large”, extra-long size is also just right for stretching out and still keeping me uniformly warm. No unpleasant cold spots to shock a sleeping cat awake. And a very long cord/string is attached. How beautiful.
My only problem with taking the appliance over for myself is the dominating nature of the Writer who continues to believe it is for herself, and the fact that I cannot yet push the slider up on the switch to turn it on. But I am working on that.

No comments: